The Cake is a Lie (warning: this poem may contain nuts and swears)

[cake update here]

twas a Sunday afternoon
when dear daughter and I did ponder
why don’t we make a lovely cake
and decorate it oh so nice

and so to the kitchen we rushed
our eyes aglow with keenness
but hopes were crushed upon the fridge
where butter lurked, but not enough

let us go out to the shop
and buy some butter, this is easy
we’ll drive there, just a trip
of 20 minutes either way

perhaps too far for just a cake
but creative juices flowing
we really longed to bake this cake
so off we rushed and shopped

with joy we returned to home
some many minutes later
and happily measured out ingredients
preheated, greased and readied

until the moment when it happened
the flour … the flour was old and bad
and so was the other packet and the third
why did I not check this first?

so with a sigh, I looked at her
she looked at me with disappointment
and it was agreed, we’d go again
although it seemed ridiculous

and once again into the car we tumbled
and drove those silly miles some more
until we reached the supermarket
where to my horror I discovered

it was quarter past fucking four
the shop had shut it’s fucking door
we had driven near a fucking hour
and didn’t have any fucking flour

at this point I may have swore a bit
and laughed with very slight hysteria
there is no cake, the cake’s a lie
and then my brain exploded, BANG!


17 thoughts on “The Cake is a Lie (warning: this poem may contain nuts and swears)

  1. You know, my sis-in-law from long ago, wanted to make a pineapple upside down cake for a family get-together. I think it was her first to bring something. I believe she had to send her boyfriend to the store 3 times, then, when she brought it out of the oven, dropped it.


    1. The expectations make it so much worse – my daughter didn’t want to get her homework done, so my foolish response was ‘as soon as it’s done we can make a cake’ and then it all went wrong! At least it made for an amusing poem and the cake has now been made, though a little delayed!


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