Pretence

For too long
I have pretended
To be something I’m not

Ever since
I was a small child
I felt I had to be perfect

I am not

I am far from it
But this is not about
Putting myself down
This is about being myself

I’m done with pretending

So yeah,

I tried to be a good girl
But I didn’t feel good on the inside

I tried to be as clever as my sister
But it just wasn’t in me to be that smart

I tried to please you both
But I let you down and disappointed

I tried to believe in your god
But I’m sorry I do not have that faith

I tried to be a good wife
But our marriage wasn’t working

I tried to put up with things
But my heart was broken and dying

I tried to fix it all
But some things cannot be fixed

I tried to act all normal
But the darkness takes me sometimes

I tried to be sweet & demure
But the truth is I swear like a sailor

I tried to have a perfect house
But I’m messy and a hoarder

I tried to conform and hide
My poetic side away
But here I am writing my truths
Saying what I want to say

I am me

And what I am is good
Not perfect
But
Good

No more pretence
No more guilt and striving

This is me

Special
Loved
Worthy

Me

9 thoughts on “Pretence

  1. wow, this is lovely Suzy. I think it’s important, as you write here, to just accepts the parts of yourself you might not like… and then, many things become lighter and you feel even better, more free…Special, Loved and Worthy 🙂

    Like

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