still learning

after time spent
    with the implication
    of your stupidity
it becomes ingrained
that despite certification
    you're basically dumb
        always wrong
        never right
    about anything
        at all
            ever

now attempts to help
    feel like put-downs
    belittlements
and I'm back in that place
    feeling stupid and small

yet your patience 
    with grumpiness
    your kindly persistence
'til I finally accept 
    that your help is well-meant

and I learn
    so much more 
    than this flash compensation
I learn that you
    seek to build up
    not to crush
and I learn
    just to trust
    in the warmth of your love
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2 thoughts on “still learning

  1. I was told so often as a kid by my own family that I was thick that, despite always getting good grades at school, I ended up believing them. It takes a lifetime to unlearn, and I’m still not sure that I ever will.

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