rush

lying
in warm darkness
the quiet
is not so quiet
the stream rushes
louder tonight
swollen by rain
in my mind
I see
the white water
pouring down
from the hills
crashing over stones
splashing
swooshing
swirling
and I might be swept along
in the tumbling torrent
swept with the twigs
and the leaves
the lost things
and the rush
of all the possibilities
all the twists
and turns
of where we start
and where we find
ourselves
and all the things we might do
the places we’ll go
the changes we’ll make
and the love
that keeps growing
as the year turns
and the unknown future
rushes towards us

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half a year

half a year
has gone by
in a flash
it would seem
yet so much
has changed
since that moment
of wonder

when you stopped me
from falling
off the edge
of the world
caught hold
of my hand
and changed my
direction
you brought back
my smile
and made me
feel safe
as I tiptoed
your heart
and let down
my defences

now with all
that I am
and with all
that I will be

I love you
my walnut
much, much more than too

letting go

seems I fail
at letting go
of past hurts
speak of leaving them behind
yet hold them to me tight
picking at the scabs
making them bleed

putting the past
behind me
forgiving
and
forgetting …
so much easier
if the past doesn’t
creep up
and grab me
by the ankle
pulling me back in

it’s just this small thing
just this tiny thing
but magnified
’til those past hurts
are right now
sore and stinging
with unfairness
and confusion

I have to learn
this letting go
remember
what I have
here in my hand
this golden
precious
love-filled future
where pasts are merely
stories
of a different time
and
now
is all
that matters

open gate

IMG_2145-001

two years back
a difficult decision
to be made
stay sad and stuck
or step out on a new path
thoughts spinning
tears falling
alone and afraid
clinging to hope
that life could be better
this open gate
representing
a path to somewhere new
I took a deep breath
and stepped through

 

This print of a Chris Chalk painting is freshly framed today. I bought it nearly 2 years ago, while in the middle of making a huge decision, and finally today I got it up on the wall. I bought it because it represented hope and choosing to step out into the unknown.