inappropriately

feeling foolish
I hide my face
behind a curtain of hair
small things
trigger memories
of bigger things
and tears prickle
inappropriately

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letting go

seems I fail
at letting go
of past hurts
speak of leaving them behind
yet hold them to me tight
picking at the scabs
making them bleed

putting the past
behind me
forgiving
and
forgetting …
so much easier
if the past doesn’t
creep up
and grab me
by the ankle
pulling me back in

it’s just this small thing
just this tiny thing
but magnified
’til those past hurts
are right now
sore and stinging
with unfairness
and confusion

I have to learn
this letting go
remember
what I have
here in my hand
this golden
precious
love-filled future
where pasts are merely
stories
of a different time
and
now
is all
that matters